Scraps

Who will go drive with Fergus now,
And pierce the deep wood's woven shade,
And dance upon the level shore ?
Young man, lift up your russet brow,
And lift your tender eyelids, maid,
And brood on hopes and fear no more.

And no more turn aside and brood
Upon love's bitter mystery;
For Fergus rules the brazen cars,
And rules the shadows of the wood,
And the white breast of the dim sea,
And all dishevelled wandering stars.

(Yeats, "Who Goes with Fergus?")

**

Time for the Christmas decorations to come down. That's the thing about putting them up; you know you're going to have to return them to the boxes and then to the attic.

**

This has been a fine week; time with the brothers is always really valuable. I am so very proud of what each one does academically/professionally. Not to mention the jokes & the carrying on. There's not always enough of that in my house. It was also nice to be able to explain some things to my parents, and to hear their stories about their two-week trip.

**

That said, we got home a week ago, but it seems like we've been here a month. I'm not sure what that means.

**

Work re-starts tomorrow, assuming I'm healthy enough to go. It's going to be a very busy week, so I need to be healthy enough to go.

**

Inasmuch as Monday is a new beginning (like Thursday was a new beginning), the thing I most need to confront is how mistaken I have been about so many things--and how those mistakes have warped so much about who I am and how I act and what I think I know. To confront without hating myself for a fool: there's the hardest task of all. That way lies freedom, and freedom is what I most want.

**

My gatorade needs ice. I'm trying to remember to sip rather than gulp, bucause I'm really thirsty. Due to the 'exertions' of last night, my whole body feels like somebody beat on it with a mallet, but I'm terrified of putting any drugs in my stomach!

**

I had a dream last night that I returned to Mariveles, Bataan, at the house of the first girl I ever fell in love with (as a 7th grader). I'm surprised at the way the details of the house still stand out after all this time. Memory, sight, desire: you just never know what you're going to get.