Rasselas

"All that virtue can afford is quietness of conscience, a steady prospect of a happier state; this may enable us to endure calamity with patience; but remember that patience must suppose pain."

I once had confidence that the future would eventually both be better and provide the answers to why things are they way they are now. "We'll understand it better by and by," goes the refrain. I'm not sure of that anymore.

I once had confidence that making the "right" choices, the ones that were most virtuous, most self-denying, most acceptable in the eyes of my authorities, would yield the rewards of peace and happiness. Experience has shown otherwise.

I once believed that hard work can conquer any obstacle. No one has worked harder, but I have simply run out of strength. And I've met obstacles that no amount of effort will remove.

I once feared the pain of unmet desires. Having confronted them, I found that life did not end.

Does this mean that I'm despairing? No. It just means that I've lived with mistaken assumptions, mistaken expectations. I am learning to embrace the imperfection in life, and learning that a weathered face isn't necessarily ugly.