Now that vacation is done, and now that the teaching is done, it's time to turn my mind to something else. This is where it gets a bit complicated, because by "something else" I mean "somethingS else." June had the advantage, in some ways, of being quite straightforward: three hours of teaching each day of the week, and the associated reading & planning. With the time left over, perhaps some other study, or working in the yard, or going out of town for a funeral.
July is different: I don't have to be anywhere. People will ask me about my summer, and assume that I have free time. I do--sorta. There are chores enough for each day of the week between now and August. I'm trying to formulate a plan for tackling them. But I also have studying to do, and more importantly: writing. That facet of the job was one of the big casualties from this past year (the other was my involvement at church--which is a different story).
Each day represents a chance to redeem the time, to make it meaningful. Each day also represents a chance to retreat inward, to claim fatigue, to waste hour upon hour on this machine. To choose rightly, again and again, without respite--that's the story. And I need success in this, after feeling like I've fallen on my face so often over the past 18 months.
"light up, light up..."
1 comment:
Go easy on yourself, small bear! Even with your enormous stress of the past year, you have done more than 99% of the people that are around you. That may not help you much, but I wish it could "lighten" the "should-have's" of the past.
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