Piers's lonely walk back to his office

It never feels as lonely up here as when I have to call students on the carpet in class. There was a little too much extraneous chit-chat going on, so I had an outburst, essentially telling folks that if they could talk to each other about class-related stuff, we all needed to hear it, and if they were just chatting, then they needed to keep their traps shut.

Well, one of the students at whom this outburst was directed actually had a serious question; she was confused about what we'd been talking about. Unfortunately, this is a student who's never seemed happy in the class, and her friend even less so. Apparently they really dislike me, which is their prerogative. But I can't help but think about evaluations, and about how their negative opinion might shape my "numbers." Abashed, I finished class, but I was shaken by the interaction.

So I walk back to my office after teaching, feeling more than usual just how alone a professor is when he's in front of a class of 20, 30, 40 students. They aren't my friends, and shouldn't be. No matter how "nice" I try to make myself. Unfortunately, I'm already raw from having to acknowledge how lonely I am up here in West Tennessee (more on that later). So it hurts. And there's no one but Weslee to tell about it. And this blog, but it's a poor substitute for flesh & blood.