Adventures in parenting, vol. 2

The MPS website.  Not useful, friends.

MPS.

So here begins the overarching phase that will control our lives for the next twenty years or so:


Public School.  

Whereas up until this point, the boy's associates have been of a pretty selective group, now they are from all over the socioeconomic map. Just a change--neither good nor bad.

The morning schedule changes quite dramatically now.  I have a brief window to drop him off -- 7:10 to 7:25 am -- and an even briefer window for pickup:  2:25 to 2:35.  Not sure what that does for my morning routine, but at the very least it means that no more getting to the office at 6:30.  And as for the cycling:  hmmmmm.


The teacher:  rookie.  one of my former students.  I think she'll be fine, though comparing her room to the other K rooms, she did get the short straw when it came to the choice of classroom space. 


The student handbook (and then the county student handbook) makes for some hilarious reading especially with the bureaucrat-ese.  To wit:

A.    Students must:
1.  Wear clothing, accessories, and hairstyles that are neither hazardous to health or safety nor disruptive to the teaching-learning process.

i.e., no tying razor blades to one's jacket cuffs, nor wearing of the katana. 

2. Wear pants, shorts, or skirts at the waist level. If necessary to maintain
clothing at the waist level, a belt will be worn and must be buckled.

because wearing an unbuckled belt is disruptive to the teaching-learning process.

3.    Wear shirts and tops that completely cover the abdomen, back and
shoulders and must not have low-cut necklines or underarm areas.

please, little boy, do not wear that shirt where you cut out the underarms.



4.    Wear shoes at all times.

5.    Remove head coverings inside the school building.

6.    Cover any tattoos, including temporary tattoos. 

7. Meet minimum standards of cleanliness.

according to whom??  I mean, Little Red's "clean" and Big Brother's "clean" are two very different things. 

B.    Students must not:
1.    Wear haircuts, hairstyles, or hair colors that are non-traditional to the point
of causing distractions.

despite the fact that this is utterly unenforceable, other than by some official's opinion.

2.    Wear sagging pants.

Big Brother's in trouble, then:  every pair he has sags in the posterior area, since he has no bottom to speak of.

3.    Wear clothing that advertises or promotes tobacco, drugs, drug paraphernalia, alcoholic beverages, violence, or displays profane or suggestive language.

this means your dinosaur (carnivores) and LEGO Star Wars (blaster pistols) and superhero shirts (fisticuffs) are verboten.

  . . . etc.  . . .

No turning back now!