The news from yesterday was bad, following weeks upon weeks of bad. I've got an academic paper to write that maybe ten people will listen to, and which if I'm honest will probably never see the light of day again--certainly not in a publication. I have a department meeting to attend tomorrow afternoon, even as I am withdrawing as far as I can from the administrative and political workings of the various levels of my institution. I'm teaching complicated material to students, expending enormous amounts of energy.
And all of this effort for what? Am I really working for any kind of good, or is this just an elaborate and stressful way to spin my wheels?
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