This is a picture Lileks is fond of using when he wants to comment on something rather . . . risible. I would like to take the picture and use it (with attribution to Lileks, whose work I admire very much) on occasion when I too run across something rather . . . risible.
This Perry Stare goes out to my pastor, a man whose heart is assuredly in the right place, who brings energy and honesty to our little(ish) church. He is, however, a young man, and sometimes speaks as a young man. Yesterday was one of those times. When speaking about the second chapter of Genesis, and how it depicts God's perfect provision of a mate for Adam, he felt the need to address the unfortunate reality that marriage in real life may not always be as perfect as that of our forebears.
He said that when people find themselves in unhappy marriages, it's because they didn't wait for God's perfect provision for them. Or it's because they rushed into a relationship. Or it's because they haven't trusted God enough, or done it His way, or whatever. Essentially, he was asserting (not arguing) that marriage discord comes about because someone sinned or tripped up, and can be avoided if one properly seeks divine wisdom. As "evidence," he read a little bit out of C. S. Lewis's Screwtape Letters.
The Runner was helping out in the nursery at the time, so there was nobody I could scrawl an "UH OH" note to . . . but her reaction when I relayed the point was much as I had expected:
This kind of thing is what occupies a lot of her time as a therapist. The above is spoken by a young man, very much as a young man, secure in what he believes and in his understanding of how the world works. I hope he and his wife (and children) never experience the trials that befall even the most well-intentioned of people, but I have come to suspect that life has its own ways of robbing us of our illusions. Either way, I also hope that a few more years of study (if he can discipline himself to do it) finds him singing a slightly different tune.
1 comment:
Oh how hard it is at times to be a young preacher with deep convictions. I certainly understand your reaction Chris to this view of why so many marriages go through difficult or "unhappy" times. I believe that what this young man needs as much as anything is not just study (which is definitely important) but mainly maturity and experience. The more he deals with this the more he will come to see this through the lens of experience and grace and not through the lens of a set of rules or guidelines that if followed will always bring about happiness and success. Don't give up on him - just pray for him that God will help in along this path. Having just returned from speaking three times to Filipino families on the subject of helping families and marriages to survive in difficult days - I know what a challenge this can be for a pastor/preacher.
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