And so, the holiday comes to an end. I spent a good part of the day at work today, and Number One Son starts back to school tomorrow. He's ready. As for me, I have ten days until the spring semester starts. I thought I had another weekend in there to get ready! Oh well.
The building was empty. Why was I the only person on the first floor, you ask? Because I had to produce some material for a task force I'm on, and for which we have a two hour teleconference on Wednesday. Part of my problem in doing work like this is that I see it as more or less a diversion from real work . . . the problem I was supposed to address, for instance, is the recruitment and retention of faculty. The answer is very simple, but we're supposed to pretend that it isn't. The university needs more money to both raise salaries and reduce teaching loads. The nominal issue (according to my assignment) is the revision of "policies and procedures." Like hell . . . policy revisions will not address pay deficiencies or overloaded instructors.
I tend to want to redefine issues when they appear to be so dishonestly addressed, but have to force myself into the professionalism of playing with the hand dealt to me. Still, it gives me a headache.
What came home like never before this "break": the parenting really is unrelenting. Just when we have a handle on what one is doing, the other changes the rules. The Youngest, for instance, has decided that it is his turn to start exerting his will. This is fine, and doesn't scare either of these parents. But the screeching in anger does wear on the nerves. Today, when I got home, it was "look at this!" and "let's do a science experiment!" and "let's build legos!" and "can we watch Wild Kratts on your computer?" . . . and this was all between 3:30 and 5:00. Don't get me wrong: I know how fortunate I am to have the children I have, but I also know that they won't let up on us.
What I need to do is some research, writing, and serious reading before the term starts.
But who, though, is the Prince of Lies
If not the Spirit-that-denies,
The shadow just behind the shoulder
Claiming it's wicked to grow older,
Though we are damned if we turn round
Thinking salvation has been found?
Yet in his very effort to
Prevent the actions we could do,
He has to make the here and now
As marvellous as he knows how
And so engrossing we forget
To drop attention for regret;
Defending relaxation, he
Must show impassioned energy,
And all through tempting us to doubt
Point us the way to find truth out.
--Auden, New Year Letter, Pt. 2
(I read this at the beginning of every January)
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