In which Piers prepares a speech

I have to speak on Sunday.  Not preach!  no, no, no no no nononono.
Part of what I'm writing down today that I may use on Sunday:

I'll tell you what else this isn't about:  it's not about preparing yourself for real life. I would never think to insult you to say that it is! As many of you can attest, this college business is quite real enough, thank you.  Many of you carry jobs, maintain relationships both pleasant and otherwise, and manage crises involving keys, flash drives, cars, friends, grandparents, and any number of other real life things.  Some of you have faced pretty stiff pressure from home and are here in spite of it.  That's all real life, as is the studying and the lectures and the meetings and the movies.  Each of you, in short, has a story to tell full of joy and woe, and you're in the midst of telling it even now.

I will be brief.