I may use some of these.

One of my favorite features in Watterson's old Calvin & Hobbes strip (still champion, imho) was when Calvin's dad started "explaining" the way things work. Here's an example:

Q. Why does ice float?
A. Because it's cold. Ice wants to get warm, so it goes to the top of liquids to be nearer to the sun.
Q. Is that true?
A. Look it up and find out.
Q. I should just look up stuff in the first place.

Link to some others.