400 years ago

Good-Friday, 1613, Riding Westward

by John Donne

Let man’s soul be a sphere, and then, in this,
Th’ intelligence that moves, devotion is;
And as the other spheres, by being grown
Subject to foreign motion, lose their own,
And being by others hurried every day,
Scarce in a year their natural form obey;
Pleasure or business, so, our souls admit
For their first mover, and are whirl’d by it.
Hence is’t, that I am carried towards the west,
This day, when my soul’s form bends to the East.
There I should see a Sun by rising set,
And by that setting endless day beget.
But that Christ on His cross did rise and fall,
Sin had eternally benighted all.
Yet dare I almost be glad, I do not see
That spectacle of too much weight for me.
Who sees Gods face, that is self-life, must die;
What a death were it then to see God die?
It made His own lieutenant, Nature, shrink,
It made His footstool crack, and the sun wink.
Could I behold those hands, which span the poles
And tune all spheres at once, pierced with those holes?
Could I behold that endless height, which is
Zenith to us and our antipodes,
Humbled below us? or that blood, which is
The seat of all our soul’s, if not of His,
Made dirt of dust, or that flesh which was worn
By God for His apparel, ragg’d and torn?
If on these things I durst not look, durst I
On His distressed Mother cast mine eye,
Who was God’s partner here, and furnish’d thus
Half of that sacrifice which ransom’d us?
Though these things as I ride be from mine eye,
They’re present yet unto my memory,
For that looks towards them; and Thou look’st towards me,
O Saviour, as Thou hang’st upon the tree.
I turn my back to thee but to receive
Corrections till Thy mercies bid Thee leave.
O think me worth Thine anger, punish me,
Burn off my rust, and my deformity;
Restore Thine image, so much, by Thy grace,
That Thou mayst know me, and I’ll turn my face.


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The New Normal revisited

We continue to adjust to the realities of the here and now; there will be more frequent trips to Nashville and a sense of distraction as chemo treatments for The Runner's mom begin next week.

Driving home from Nashville this past Sunday was very difficult.  I have to admit:  I did not want to return to work, or to return to this town or this region.

On that drive, The Runner encouraged me to start looking for possible places to move. I don't know if I like the idea, because I don't particularly want to go through the hassle of moving, don't want to feel like I wasn't able to make NWTN work long-term, don't want to leave the people here I really appreciate. 

The Runner says that maybe the restlessness of my heart (which, in all honesty, I've suffered from for a couple of years now) is a providential sign that it's time to move on.  I wonder if instead it's part of a brutally painful process of learning humility and patience and self-sacrifice.  I would not claim any special dispensation--I am not a prophet--but I do know that Providence is not always gentle or soothing in what it metes out.

The Life of the Mind(ers)

That's right: we work hard around here. 

At least at creating committees with names that sound like they could come from an episode of The Office.  Or from Terry Gilliam's Brazil.

Workforce culture?  The culture of the people in the workplace?

Make the workers more cultured?

Improve the force of the work done in this culture?

Is there a kind of subculture of workforce that we need to tap into, like hipsterdom?

Perhaps we ought to suggest that they break into sub-teams:

a. Workforce Improvement Team

b. Culture Improvement Team

c. Workforce Culture Team

d. Improvement Team

...there's enough administrative chair-shuffling for everyone!

Monday Update, the new normal edition

What we are now experiencing as a family can only be described as a big change in what we expect. Honey is facing a major medical challenge; I am having to admit some painful truths about my workplace and career; and our real income has contracted significantly. No longer certain of what the next few months will hold, we are guessing at what might be.

"Don't let them see you"--

About five years ago, I sat in my back yard and remarked to The Runner that we have an excellent life, and that I was so content.  Within six months I was suicidal.

This past December, I remarked to my family that we have been so fortunate to avoid major illness, or accidents, or other mishaps of that sort.  Within three months:  an ovarian cancer diagnosis.

Next time I'm feeling thankful, content, or secure, I'll make sure to keep that to myself.

Little Red is 5

Surface Tension

So much up in the air right now. 

But especially this:  my mother in law is having surgery tomorrow . . . there's a serious health concern. We will know more later this week, I assume.  But as for now, we are trying to remain flexible and reasonably positive.

I also have no idea what I'm doing this summer . . . my income and my schedule for two of the three summer months are literally waiting on decisions from other people.

I did receive good news, which also falls into the category of tension:  I have a research leave approved for the Spring semester of 2014.  This means a semester free of all faculty responsibilities except producing some scholarship results.

In which Piers Discovers a Gem

It's absurd to be looking at this bike at all, considering i just left the old one at the shop for an upgrade/tune up...but of all the bikes I've wanted for a step up from the trusty Scott Speedster, this is the one I've wanted the most. At $1300, it's even within reach. Sigh.

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Monday Update, Don't Call it a Break Edition

We hit midterm "break" just in time for me to submit the rest of my applications.  I should know something definite within a month. I have the time now to appraise my performance the first half of the term, and I'm not at all happy about it. I should have more to show for the course release, and I should be doing better at the courses I'm teaching.

The Runner and I have been having serious conversations about the current direction of my mindset and career.

I spent the first day of this break taking my bike down to Hub City Bicycle to get its first professional once-over in about five years. I'm also upgrading the pedals and getting a new set of bike shoes--I may have fallen victim to an upsell, but oh well.  I should also get a new saddle, but we're going to have to determine the status of our tax refund before anything else happens.

Of course, the other major transaction this week was the new iPad . . . it's going to have to suffice as The Runner's computer until she can get the old Macbook fixed.  It just quit on her. 

Little Red turns five in a couple of days!

In Which Piers Submits an Application to Something Cool

Long shot. 

I do not have an impressive enough resume.

I am also learning that because I really prefer not to write loads of jargon and bullshit, I am at a disadvantage compared to those who are better able to employ the language necessary for preferment.  Note:  I do not claim that this makes me a better person, or better at my job, or even more honest.  It is merely my habit of thought and expression.