The Runner has a circle of friends due to all her running and triathlon business. This group includes a number of dudes who get together in the early mornings to do training rides on their bikes. They invite me, but I always refuse.
I was invited to a Rotary Club meeting this past Wednesday. The colleague extending the invitation told me it was because he had met my dad at many meetings. I was happy to inform him that he had the wrong Hill.
The church has all sorts of activities to show up at, and I always find a reason to not go.
There are returning students who are happy to come sit and talk to me. I am avoiding them.
In reality, I find most communities tiresome.
Evangelical culture is vapid. I watch with dismay as church after church gets caught up in trends that are 10-15 years old, dressed up in new holy jargon. I watch as we are offered more and more opportunities to spend all our time up at the church house, necessarily taking us away from time with our families and taking the children away from the directionless and non-programmed play that they so desperately need for their healthy development. And don't get me started on the obsession with bigger facilities and bigger programs.
Nerd culture is obsessive, especially about media series, which I enjoy just fine, but cannot commit my life to. I long ago stopped trying to care about video games, because as much as I enjoy them (and did in fact play through Lego Lord of the Rings at a pretty fast clip), I have other things to attend to. I like Doctor Who very much, but cannot muster a huge amount of energy to discuss the various merits of various companions, etc. I enjoy the show, like I enjoy Star Trek and Star Wars and Legos and internet memes and Monty Python and Tolkein. I'm pretty awful about bringing them up in class. But I have other interests as well, and don't care to organize my life around fantasy worlds.
Bike culture is competitive and gear-obsessed. Apparently, a cyclist is required to post distance and time and average speed on Facebook at the end of every ride. The pre-ride scene at the organized events I've been to has just left me defensive and ever more anti-competitive. You can tell that people are judging componentry, clothing, quad size, branding, and everything else. I would love a $5000 titanium road bike with semi-pro specs, and probably get jealous that some choose to spend their money that way. I just can't get on board with the whole macho "gotta get to the next level" thing. Though I still want that tattoo on my right calf that looks like a chain gunk smear.
Academic culture is by turns defensive and smug. I've never felt 100% at home in the kind of worldview that most of my colleagues evince. But the point of this little essay, I guess, is that it's hard for me to find home anywhere. It's not them, it's me.
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