Monday Update, Holly Jolly Edition

At some point last week, my energy just utterly gave out. I may have written about this already, but it bothered me for a bit.  Then I remembered that this happens at the end of every semester.

The Runner of course has had a couple of races these past two weekends; the event in Memphis was great, and then this past weekend she drove with a whole flock of other moms over to Pigeon Forge to run a race. It turned out to not be the most convenient time for me, seeing as I was alone with all three children on the weekend between the end of classes and the start of exam week.  But I was happy to let her go.  We may alter the arrangements next year.

There were many many many conversations in my office suite today . . . and they were mostly addressing how demoralized we feel when we see the quality of work we are getting.  I hate to say it, because I want to believe the best of my students, but most of it is so weak.

Number One Son had his church children's choir program last night.  It was mildly entertaining, overly choreographed, and filled with regrettable attempts at "contemporary" music. The children are not being taught to sing or anything like that.  However, he had a blast doing it, and really hammed it up on stage (he had no speaking part, but did the motions with vigor). 

Little Red asks me to play an insanely difficult Wii game with him, and when I'm tempted to groan, "nooo," I remind myself that he loves me and won't be "little" Red forever.

The Mutt has only destroyed a couple of Christmas ornaments so far.

Adventures with Students, Vol 39

I was subjected to an outside teaching evaluation yesterday in my two literature classes. I am being evaluated for a teaching award, and my department chair had to administer the instrument before I entered the classroom.  So as soon as I came in, one of my saucier students blurts out that one of the questions on the evaluation was whether or not the instructor stays on topic.

Well, it was an honor to be nominated, at least!  I am not exactly the most focused teacher on the planet. Another student helpfully pointed out that they also asked about "sense of humor," and I replied that attempted jokes aren't the same thing as actual humor. Which earned a chuckle from a few people.

One of the most difficult things to manage this time of the semester is that some students who have utterly flaked out, flamed out, stopped trying, lazily floated their way through the term now want to make sure they get a reasonably good grade in the class.  My "favorites" are the ones who disappear for several weeks and then return as if nothing happened.

I now find myself in the position of the tiresome man who grumbles that in his day no one would think of this sort of behavior.

Monday Update, O Tannenbaum Edition

After the Thanksgiving observance comes the ritual Opening of the Attic, the ceremonial Unpacking of the Many Plastic Containers, the official Choosing of the Christmas Tree, and the Decorating Thereof, which was just done this very night. The boys were beside themselves excited. They of course decorated a very narrow zone of the tree by piling several ornaments per branch.

We have adjusted some of their aesthetic choices.

Today I was feeling pretty crappy due to a cold, but still, in the midst of an insight about Pope's "Essay on Man" as I was teaching the first part of the poem to my class, I apparently got a bit excited . . . cause next thing I knew my colleague from the classroom next door was pounding on the wall to get me to pipe down a little. It was all in good fun, but I didn't have any idea I was being that loud. Oh well; I may not be doing a great job, but at least I can't be accused of phoning it in.

Thankfulness is a discipline of the mind and heart.

There are plenty of things that weary me, but I'm not about to waste space on those right now.

Number One Son acts just like I imagine I used to act this time of year.  He absolutely loves everything about this season.

Monday Update (belated), "Deep Breath Before the Plunge" Edition

I have to admit that I don't feel like I'm doing a good job at anything these days.  Is it enough to do what's required to get by?

Especially doubting my performance at work.

I have learned that this is a cycle that follows just as surely as the September-October period is a tough haul. The weather turns bleak just as my mood does the same.

I recognize that it's just a mood, though, brought on by work related stress and the fewer hours of sunlight/bike riding.

Thanksgiving week is nice, though, because we get most of the week off. But we'll pay for it starting on Monday...cause the sprint from Thanksgiving to Christmas break is also brutal.

The poor preschoolers have been so very sick.

The Mutt has been trying our patience to the hilt.

We know we have plenty to be thankful for, but we're not feeling smug--we're tightening the belts for what we're pretty sure is coming.

Some things that have come up

1. People are doing the "thankfulness" thing on Facebook where they use each day in November to talk about what they are thankful for. This one acquaintance of mine who used the occasion to praise herself for her progressive political views . . . apparently missed the point.

2. In many ways, having a puppy is like having another child, only more so.  And hairier.

3. I was teaching the other day and talking about regional cultural differences--urging the students to be more thoughtful and less reflexive in their evaluations, especially of the South.  One student thought she could catch me out by asking, "where have YOU lived?"  My answer left her without much to say.

4. Colleagues and students alike are all feeling the cumulative stress of the semester. In the past two weeks, I have had a couple of students--both of whom had been missing big chunks of class--come to me and say that they've been having trouble. Both tried not to cry, and mostly succeeded. Neither was particularly forthcoming about the nature of their trouble. I tried to offer a little perspective and then sent them on their way with assurances that we would be able to work it out. I try to remember that it is an honor to be seen as a compassionate and reasonable person.

5. Everyone at work is surprised when I confess that I am an extreme introvert.

6. There is a research project I'm supposed to be working on. Yeah, about that . . .

Some things I wish I could tell my students

 . . . but that I do not generally say because I don't want to sound like a level 75 curmudgeon:

You cannot continue to expect to get gold stars just for showing up. Certainly, showing up is the first step, but it's only a first step. You may have been stroked and petted for doing the absolute minimum up until this point, but from now on the minimum is just that--it will keep you from utter failure, but that's about it. If you want to know true success, then you are going to have to determine that deferred gratification and mental/physical exhaustion are acceptable. Especially the deferred gratification part. You are also going to have to define success in terms other than monetarily. If you think you are in college to get certified for a job, you'd be better off doing other stuff. There is no reason to be at a university unless you are there to learn things in a broad and deep sense. Please learn, furthermore, that you are in fact always representing yourself to other people, both in what you wear and in how you choose to speak. You may mutter self-indulgent nonsense about "authenticity" and "self-expression," but you're not really convincing anyone--least of all anyone over the age of 30.  And PLEASE, PLEASE, for the love of Pete, think before opening your mouth. In fact, just play it safe and don't open your mouth at all. 

Monday Update, Hedgehog Edition

I forget it every year, apparently, but it happens every year:  in the two weeks following the Pig Pickin', everything catches up with me and it is like I'm buried for several days under an avalanche of paper.  Other things begin to slide as I begin to cut corners to keep up with the basics.  I usually spend the latter four to five weeks of the semester just shoveling.

This explains why the yard and the exercising and the diet, etc., are all utterly neglected in November.

I also find that the way I do my job creates a cumulative weariness that really takes a toll when the time change hits. I feel it in the gut, and I begin to get a bit impatient with, um, other people. 

Number One Son had a sleepover over the weekend, and apparently really enjoyed himself.  The report is that he and his friend woke up at 3:00 am ready to play.  They were dismayed to find that the parent didn't agree.

All of the children have been utterly consumed in their Lego building recently. There is an 8-foot table in our front room covered end to end.  Have there been some screechy disagreements? Unfortunately, yes.  We have discovered that The Mutt really dislikes it when I begin to speak loudly.  She generally goes and finds The Runner.  On Sunday morning, when the s*** really hit the fan, she not only found The Runner (in the kitchen), but wedged herself between The Runner's legs and the cabinets.

An older colleague was speaking with me about a demographic issue that she read about--that the 85+ population of this country will outnumber the 5 and under population by 2040.  The most amazing part of the conversation was that when I remarked that this is exactly why all the entitlements are dead--they cannot possibly keep up with the population--her response was essentially a shrug. At least she's getting hers (and mine. And her grandkids').

I find myself wearied by the incessantly self-involved among my friends and acquaintances. This is the most unpleasant of the side effects of Facebookification.

The question that remains for Piers is . . .

. . . how libertarian will he become?

In which Piers votes

I voted this year based on two concerns:
1. Fiscal/budget
2. First amendment

I don't even think that Social Security OR Medicare will even exist in any recognizable form by the time I am of age to "collect," so to speak.

Looming: the technology-driven change in the way education, especially college/university education, is delivered.

I will also note that there are colleagues of mine who are thoroughly and utterly hateful toward the state house representative because he disagrees with them on several issues ... And then they complain when he doesn't seem overly eager to bend to their requests (it will be a relief when/if their chosen candidate wins and in doing so is able to iron out all our difficulties).

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Monday Update, election eve edition

I am thoroughly ready for this long nightmare to be over. By which I mean election season. My fear is that we are rapidly moving to a kind of setup where the election cycle never really ends.

Now that we have set the September & October marathon behind us, we have turned our attention to other things, specifically some of the house and yard keeping that tends not to get done otherwise. The Runner massacred lots of our shrubbery this past weekend.

The front room of our house has the long table pulled out into the center, and it is covered--covered--with Lego building blocks. It's a mess, but Little Red and Number One Son built 30+ spaceships tonight.

The youngest shall hereby be known as Lefty.

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The Last Battle

A lot of students are reading this book right now because they're taking a course in fantasy literature.  I tell them it makes me sad, because things keep going so wrong for the main characters before they finally begin going right.  And I guess I'm just apocalyptic enough in my thinking to wonder if my children and grandchildren are going to have to endure a world getting worse and worse, like Narnia does, before it finally gets better.

Such are the thoughts of a melancholic father, I guess.

More importantly,

Happy Birthday to The Runner!


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In which Piers yawns

This is part of a flyer advertising a "banned books" reading tomorrow. I confess that this doesn't mean that much to me even though I am a First Amendment zealot. Mainly, it's because there's such a broad definition of "banned." Certainly, it's silly when any community or school tries to proscribe any written works. Not to mention counterproductive. But when even books like Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone count as "banned," well.

But at least it gives participants ( in the reading, that is) the thrill of Standing Up for Our Rights. I wonder if they would do the same for the dude who made that YouTube video of recent fame.


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Monday Update, "whoops, it's been a while" edition

I did not intend to go this long without posting something, but the activities got the better of me, I guess.  The annual conference in Wise this year was especially important for me because some colleagues and I decided to take the first steps of a fairly significant research and writing project. There's no guarantee that it will work, of course, but if it does, it could be huge.  And of course, as things tend to happen, as soon as I got back from the conference I had a week of wall-to-wall work to take care of, so I've not done a thing on that stuff for about ten days.

I used to keep waiting for the day when I could catch my breath; I'm thinking it ain't gonna come. On the upside, though, this academic project may represent the Big Change I've been looking for (and a far healthier one than the other kind:  sports car, motorcycle, blonde bimbo, etc.).

The biggest moment (no pun intended) of the past week was probably when the boys got to ride for about an hour in the cab of a John Deere combine.  They loved it.

We were especially proud of the boys this past Saturday--they both played well and with good attitudes. I am pleased with the way Number One Son offers plenty of vocal leadership and encouragement to his teammates.  His hard work is really paying off; he is de facto captain of the team and has been scoring goals during every game.  Little Red bounced back after a couple of weeks ago when the wheels came off (incedentally, while I was gone to Wise), and played with some pretty good focus this week.  He does better on offense than on defense.  He also scored a couple of goals.

Continuing with the outdoor theme, one of the other big changes this fall has been that I've been participating in afternoon group bike rides (15-25 miles) with some fellow faculty members. It has been a big adjustment to the way I do things, putting me later getting into the office and much earlier in leaving it.  On balance, though, this is a positive development both mentally and physically.

I'm not going to specify, but I will say that this has become a single-issue election for me, and nothing either candidate does or says from here on out is likely to change my mind.

Monday Update, Wise Week Edition

And so, the annual week where I have waited too long to get my academic work done, so I spend about five days freaking out about getting the essay written before I get up there.  This year, the added degree of difficulty:  an entirely different schedule, consisting of afternoon bike rides; two sets of soccer practices and an additional flag football practice for Number One Son; and some evening meetings for me.

I coached Number One Son's soccer team on Saturday!  We were lacking the official coach, and the assistant coach was out, so I stepped up to essentially tell the boys where to stand on the field.  To my great surprise, they listened to me, and as the game went on, I got more vocal at helping guide their efforts.  I had a heck of a lot of fun, actually, and really enjoyed encouraging them as they did good stuff (we also won 6-0, and Number One Son scored his first two goals ever, so that helped).

A lot of hullabaloo at work about the results of some silly online employee survey we were all supposed to take last year (they even handed out mugs and cups and post-it note pads with a special logo).  The published results say that five persons in my department completed the survey, which is a mystery since everyone in the department remembers taking it. But since we have been called on the carpet for an apparently tepid response, we are to compose some sort of plan for addressing some of the shortcomings. I would be tempted to take it more seriously if the firm tasked with tabulating our responses had, you know, bothered to include all the responses that were given.  The whole exercise is silliness.

The more time we spend filling out online surveys, and doing administrative paperwork, and formatting documents to meet spec, the less time we have for doing the things that make our jobs meaningful (and count toward things like tenure and promotion):  research, writing, teaching.

On the bright side (and this is unsurprisingly unrelated to work), Number One Son is doing so much better at everything this year, it's night and day.  He really loves his second grade teacher, and has so much more confidence.

In which Piers gets struck

The news from yesterday was bad, following weeks upon weeks of bad.  I've got an academic paper to write that maybe ten people will listen to, and which if I'm honest will probably never see the light of day again--certainly not in a publication. I have a department meeting to attend tomorrow afternoon, even as I am withdrawing as far as I can from the administrative and political workings of the various levels of my institution.  I'm teaching complicated material to students, expending enormous amounts of energy.

And all of this effort for what?  Am I really working for any kind of good, or is this just an elaborate and stressful way to spin my wheels?

In which Piers reviews an important lesson

There are those people for whom you can be super important . . . As long as they need you for something. When that's done, you find yourself on the outside looking in again. I've begun to experience this phenomenon at work. While it is not the most pleasant thing in the world, I'm at least glad to know where I stand.


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Monday Update, Post-Soybean Edition

Well, the Soybean Festival came to town this past week and brought the rain with it . . . yes, that's right.  All summer it has barely rained, and then when there's a week long street festival:  it rains.  Hard.  We'll take it, but it does mean that I have to mow the grass now.

The coming of the Soybean Festival is traditionally (for me, at least) the time that work really kicks off . . . and so this week the soccer practices (and flag football for Number One Son) have really taken off along with meetings and such.  The schedule is now even more involved because Little Red has soccer practice and games as well.

Speaking of soccer, Little Red scored 4 goals on Saturday . . . the boy has a little motor.  Number One Son also played really well, though he could use just a bit more aggression.  He took a couple of shots on goal, but they didn't go his way.  He has come a long way since his days of standing still in the middle of the field.

My good friend JVG has cajoled me to start riding with him on weekday afternoons after work (three days a week).  It is a new thing for me, but it has worked out remarkably well.  It gets me away from campus and pays at least some modest physical dividends.  Today we rode a good 25 miles or so.

On our ride, we ran across a heartbreaking sight:  two puppies, obviously litter mates, probably 6-10 weeks old, walking along a ditch by the side of the road.  They were both gaunt--you could see their ribs and their hipbones.  They were also starved for attention . . . it's probably a good thing I was on my bike and not in my car, or we might have two more dogs here at this house.  For a while, the memory of the two of them wagging their tails and reaching up for my hand just sapped the strength right out of my legs.

I have a little over a week to prepare a presentation for the annual conference I attend in Virginia.  Should be simple, since I clearly don't have anything else going on.

At the end of week two,

A self-assessment:

1.  In my attempt to reboot myself and my career, I have come to recognize that I need to protect my time.  This may involve closing my office door when it needn't be open, or leaving the office for the confines of the library, or leaving campus altogether.  The place will get along fine without me, and I have found that time is easily wasted here at my desk.

2.  I also feel remarkably detached from the bulk of my work.  I'm okay when it comes to teaching, but the rest of it doesn't even begin to penetrate.  I am trying a new set of tasks & responsibilities in an effort to shake off at least some of the lethargy.

3.  High on the priority list is learning to write again--a daunting prospect.

4.  I am trying some group bike rides in the mid-afternoon after work a few days per week.  Again, it's a matter of doing things differently to see if I can jump-start some energy.  I am not accustomed to riding with people, so it is a bit of a challenge.

5.  No matter the number of laudable goals, to make any kind of personal change at 38, when also attending to a family, mortgage, etc., is a big-time undertaking.  I am attempting to be patient when results don't come as quickly as I would like.

LOL, Chronicle.

The above item is from the daily digest from the Chronicle of Higher Education.  That's right:  those students at Harvard were too flummoxed by Ambiguity to understand they were cheating when they were, you know, CHEATING. 


You know what this deserves: